07 February, 2009

Finding the YES in NO

By Drs Bil and Cher Holton

No is one of the toughest words to deal with, especially when we desperately desire something, or feel it is critical for our success and happiness. Research tells us that in sales, NO is the number one cause of 'fear of rejection' complex that causes so many people to get out of business!

In thinking back on our years as consultants, we remember that NO was a difficult word for us to hear when we generated amazing proposals, only to find another vendor was selected to do the job. But here's how we began to hear the YES in NO.

We started saying "Thanks for saying no!" The moment we heard that we weren't selected to give the opening keynote, for example, we would immediately follow up with a little note, thanking the potential client for giving us the opportunity to be considered ~ and our wishes that their conference would be extremely successful.

We followed this up with offering our services for future events, and also indicated that, should something occur at the last minute where they found they needed a speaker, to feel free to contact us. Finally, we included a copy of one of our books as our "Thanks for saying no" gift.

Incredibly, we discovered that quite often we were contacted immediately to confirm dates next year's conference! And we can pinpoint three specific instances where things went awry with the selected speaker, and we got the call to replace them! We learned how to find the YES in NO by looking at a more long-term response.

How often do you run into obstacles that seem to wave a big red "NO" in front of you? It seems so easy to just give in, and say, "Forget it!" But in Mark 10:27, Jesus makes an incredible statement: "With God, all things are possible."

What exactly does that mean? It tends to conjure up all kinds of debates, like "Yeah, possible, but how probable?" Or "Sounds good on paper, but it won't work in the real world!"

So let's look at the Unity perspective of what this verse means to us today, we get a whole different view. It tells us that as we make that connection with the Divine nature of who we are, our God center, we are receptive to the Divine Flow of every thing we ever need. But until we make that connection, our human self sees the appearance of obstacles, of "NOs."

Here are three keys to discovering the YES in every NO you seem to encounter:

* Spend dedicated time in the Silence, strengthening your connection with Spirit.

* Counter every appearance of NO with a big "Thank You for saying no!" Then identify ways to send positive energy to the situation or people.

* Recognize that there is no being out there in the sky saying NO. We have the power to Divinely order our experience, and create the life we choose. Do not let the appearance of NO have power in your life!

About the Author:
Drs. Bil & Cher Holton are Spiritual Leaders at Unity Spiritual Life Center in Durham, NC, where they practice positive, practical, progressive Christianity. Visit their website at Unity Spiritual Life Center and sign up to receive a complimentary 4-week e-course.


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